Shop More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Student Member N W RavenFemale/United States Group :iconlonelypumpkin: LonelyPumpkin
Writing with poise.
Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 173 Deviations 5,560 Comments 11,446 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

This is a gallery of my attempts to show you the wide assortment of things I find intriguing. Enjoy! Or not, if they don't quite suit your fancy.

Webcam

Groups

Activity


Absolute Favourites
4,846 deviations
BLANKNESS
BLANKNESS
Ice-cold shards for a heart
Death welling in my stomach
Spilling worms out of my mouth

EDGES
EDGES
Sharpened blades for boundaries
Layered thickly all about me
Making all who trespass bleed

ANCIENT
ANCIENT
Ancient demon tongue within
Spouting curses, damning curses
Leaving scars along my brain

CORPSES
CORPSES
ALL I SEE ARE CORPSES
LITTERED AT MY FEET
VACANT EYES TARGETING ME

RUIN
RUIN
Ruin me as I've ruined you
Take these shattered remnants of me
Crush them underneath your shoes

HATE ME
HATE ME
Never give to me your heart
For I'll gnash and shred and murder
It's my one perfected art

     Monday was uneventful. I couldn't even relax outside for fear of having to face Stranger Danger tomorrow. Why in the world would he offer to take me to school? That was the question I tried to avoid answering all day. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know the inner working of his mind. I didn't want to know him. I wanted to move far away where his predator eyes couldn't track me. I wanted to sneak off to school for the rest of this year. I wanted to never go outside again.
     It was inevitable, though. Whatever I figured, there was still no feasible way to avoid him completely. And Mom expected us to be friends. Again, I might add. Old friends or not, there was no way I was even attempting to communicate with him. Mom better be right about him never talking like me. He wasn't even getting a look from me.

     Bear with me. You'll only have to endure a bit more of this. I had such a disgusting attitude back then. And even though I'd love to portray myself as a kind soul who accepted Frank right away, I need to be as true as possible, even if it doesn't make me look so good.
     I feel it beneficial to tell you I'm currently in my late twenties while writing this. I look back on these adolescent years and realize what a snob I was and a poor judge of character (even though, in my defense, Frank continued to have that creepy aura the whole rest of his life.) Maybe I can skip just a bit, just to keep from boring you or offending you further. Maybe it'd just be better to skip to Tuesday morning. Are you all right with that?


     This was it. This was the morning I would be stuck in a car with Stranger Danger. It wasn't a sarcastic nickname anymore: it was the very concept of him. I was 100% sure there'd be a search party out within the next 48 hours, scouring the swamps for my mangled body, while Frank would be nowhere to be found. I was that sure of who he really was. Childhood friend or not, I still knew nothing about who he was now.

     Funny how those two kinds of things completely contradict each other. You're so sure of who you someone really is, but it's because you don't know them that makes you so sure. Following that train of thought can be so dizzying, but comes completely naturally to us humans and even animals. The unknown is foreign and therefore inherently evil. This was one of the many lessons about humanity that even simply Frank's existence taught me, and something I've lived much better from counteracting.

     I got ready far too early and in a hurry, because I couldn't stand one more second memorizing my ceiling when I obviously wouldn't get back to sleep. I did everything but brush my teeth, and managed to do so slow enough that there was only an hour or so left before I would leave for school. So I ate my breakfast slowly as Jordan finally decided to come alive and creak open his door before stumbling into the bathroom. I would have laughed if I wasn't so scared.
     Reviewing my options again, I quickly made myself some cereal and crunched on it almost mechanically. Was there anything, ANYTHING, I could do to avoid this? I could play sick... but 1) it was very unlike me to miss school 2) we had just come off a three-day weekend, and 3) both these things would make Mom and Dad skeptical. Okay... Option 2: I could sneak off to school before Fr---Stranger Danger could pick me up. Of course, this option would do me more harm than good. Either Stranger Danger would tell Mom or she would ask us both how it went. Option 3: I could just out-and-out avoid all of this by walking; just defy it to the end. That should work, right? Either way, it was really the only option.
     Determined now, I threw my cereal bowl in the sink (an I mean that literally: I threw it in there. But I didn't hear crashing, so I guess that's good.) and raced up the stairs to get ready. I brushed my teeth like a madman and then took the stairs by twos back down. Swinging my hardly-full backpack on my shoulder, I marched confidently out the door.
    
     I may have spent the last three years wondering how Stranger Danger was going to get me and every which way he could murder me, but I'd also somewhat gained more confidence. Even though it felt like there was no escape, there was no way I wasn't fighting 'til the end. He'd have to fight just as hard.
     Confidence wasn't the only thing I had gained during these past years. I now had somewhat of a sense of style that didn't involve raiding the laundry or a fruity smell to cover up a funk. And, admittedly, I kind of prided myself on that change. It showed maturity and effort, at least in my eyes.
     Speaking of maturity, I was much gaunter and more lanky than before. My face was basically stretched across my skull rather than having that girly chubbiness to it. My hair had also gotten lighter and longer. It was still very dull and thin, but now fair enough to almost be white. Sad frail curtain stretched down past my elbows and covered my face most of the time. It was easy to hide behind and, although I wasn't shy, I usually preferred to. If you looked unapproachable, people usually assumed you were and left you alone. I had also somewhat grown into my disproportionate feline features. My face had always been kind of disproportionate, or at least that's what I've been told. It's what happens when you inherit your dad's slender chin and small mouth and your mom's wide head and prominent cheekbones. All in all, I wasn't exactly ugly, but I wouldn't call myself gorgeous. I guess you could say there was some natural beauty hidden deep, deep in there somewhere. But you'd be overestimating me: I was just average. And I was okay with that.
     I had already passed Fr---Stranger Danger's house and was strolling down the road without a care. Defiance never felt so good. I would literally do a happy dance if I made it all the way to the school, especially if I could see Stranger Danger's pissed-off face. That would definitely be something to celebrate.

     My pride and happiness had just about boiled over. I was only about two miles from the school and I'd opted to taking a longer, more lonely path so I could enjoy my freedom without cars speeding past. It was nice, just to be able to think and relax after all the stress. And if I kept up this defiant act, maybe I could just keep walking to school or hitch a ride with Jordan's carpool and embarrass him. Mom would eventually give in when she figured out making me go with Frank -- Stranger Danger! Not Frank! -- was more trouble than it was worth. I did feel kind of bad for giving Mom trouble when she already had so much going on. but this wasn't a matter or pride, like she thought it was: I was saving her the death of a daughter in the long run.
     I was about to the middle of this lonely stretch of road when I heard an engine puttering along behind me. Before I could figure out whether it was passing or turning in a driveway, it stopped. That's kinda strange, I thought, and before I could even think anything else, two arms crushed my waist from behind, pinning my arms to my sides.
     I froze. I'm going to die I'm going to die, is all I kept thinking. My feet rose up from the pavement as my captor grunted with effort to lift me. It wasn't until I saw the truck he was about to stuff me in that my body finally woke up. I screeched, struggling, before realizing I was on a long, almost-empty road....by my own choice. You didn't think that maybe JUST MAYBE he might follow you? Why'd you pick an empty road?! is what I probably would have yelled at myself if I wasn't so busy thinking of how I was going to get away. As the passenger seat loomed closer, I finally thought to use the heels of my sneakers. My legs thrashed back and forth wildly, and on the backswing one heel managed to catch right under his knee while the other nailed his crotch. With a howl of pain he went down, but not before shoving me into the car. I dove out the car door, but he had already gotten back up. I was met with Frank's hand clenching my shoulder and his face in mine. Of course it was Frank; that didn't shock me at all. But it was a very good thing because then I could put the past three years of fear and anger into what I was about to do. Abruptly, I turned from his predator eyes and bit deep into his hand, possibly taking a chunk. But instead of this going how I planned, he poured his anger into almost slamming the door on my legs. By reflex, I pulled them in.
     And then I was trapped.
     Quickly, he walked around to his side, making sure the whole time that I wasn't unlocking the truck. I wasn't fast enough to lock his side and escape out of mine.
     He climbed in the driver's seat, started the car and locked it, and grumbled under his breath, "GAWD, yer difficult."
     And that was that.

An Urgent Need for Ruin: Chapter Four
So I ran this chapter through OpenOffice spellcheck since deviantart doesn't have one, so it should be free of typos.
Okay so this is the chapter when crap hits the fan. And you just thought this was a Twilight-y fic and Toni was just being dramatic... Nope!
I was originally going to have the kidnapping scene a bit longer, but I think I like how it is. Let me know what you think! Please!
Loading...
Work in Progress by Reprogrammed
Work in Progress
So, it's not exactly art yet, but I really liked how the right side came out and didn't want to mess with it. This is my first attempt with the AMAZING Windows 8 app Fresh Paint. AWESOME way of integrating a touch screen into painting.
Originally I was going for a swamp, and I guess in some impressionist way it did turn out like one, but whatever. I'm just having fun.
Loading...
     He. Knew. My. Name. How the HECK did he know my name? Don't get me wrong; weird things happened in Louisiana all the time. Superstition ran rampant, supplying the demand for all the psychics and voodoo practitioners. But whoever Stranger Danger really was, he didn't seem like any kind of spiritualist, just a creeper. The kind you wouldn't want to encounter walking down the street, whether night or day. And he lived next door. And knew my name.
     I was in trouble
. Lots of trouble. Was it even safe to sleep tonight? And even if it was, how could I sleep knowing there was a creeper who knew my name next door?
     Okay, okay. Maybe I just hadn't heard him right. He could have easily actually said "toenail," right? That sounds sooo stupid... Or, or maybe he just overhead my mom or dad. That's possible, right? Except that's even scarier! Ohhhh, heck. Who lived next to us?!
     The shower had now become lukewarm on the verge of pure freezing. I had no idea I had been in that long. My dad must be wondering what in the world happened, because I rarely took showers this long. Let him wonder. This required lots of thought. I slid down the bathroom wall until I was sitting on the grimy floor still littered with garbage bits.​
I still hadn't rinsed the soap in my hair and eyes. Which was a huge mistake. My eyes were burning right out of my head but I could care less. How HOW in the world was I supposed to react to him knowing my name? I still didn't even know his! And even if I did, he'd still be Stranger Danger. He just wasn't the type of guy you'd ever want to be stuck around. He had pedophile-rapist-kidnapper-creepy guy written all over him. And he wasn't even middle-aged! Imagine how creepy he'd be then! And it wasn't like he was unattractive or weird-looking or anything. He just...He just put off that whole vibe that just creeped with you.
     Soon, the water hitting me was like freezing hail, so I slowly rose to turn it off. I left my hair sticky with soap: I'd wash it when the water was a reasonable temperature. Instead, I donned my garbage-covered clothes (I'd be taking another shower soon anyway) and trudged out of the bathroom and passed Dad grumbling about "seems like a nice boy​​" (Really?! Could no one else feel the creepy?!) and into my room. Which, of course, had the curtain open. And, of course, I had to get up and close it. Down by that corner of the house I couldn't help but check by habit stood a chuckling teenage boy just stamping out his cigarette. And just before I had closed my curtain all the way, with perfect timing he look up to flash me a mocking grin.
     So not only did he know my name, but now he was mocking me. Great... Great! Life after this was going to be swell.

     This went on for the next three years. I kid you not, years. Freshman, sophomore, and junior years. During that time, it goes without saying that he learned my schedule. Whether unintentionally or by studying me like he always had, that was still creepy in and of itself. So sometimes I tried varying it: I tried different, shorter routes home (when I was walking); I took out the garbage and checked the mail at different times every day; and so on. that even managed to throw him off a few times. But usually he still had that annoyingly perfect timing and could still catch me. Surely he had more to accomplish in life than creeping on the girl next door, right? Okay, maybe that wasn't such a good question to think about. All in all, though, I'd managed to grow pretty indifferent about Stranger Danger. It was too exhausting to worry about and he knew I'd never break my vow of silence, so that wasn't threatened anymore. Which is why I was on the porch swing right now, just listening to the ever-present ambiance of Moss Bluff​
. I didn't need a book or music or anything to keep me occupied; nature was a lot more interesting than anyone gave it credit for. Yes, I was outside. And no, I wasn't worried about or looking out for Stranger Danger. I was that indifferent now. He may as well have not even existed. Okay, maybe that was exaggerating. But I was indifferent. So indifferent that I barely even noticed when he came outside or even cared when he yelled "Hi!" in the most annoying way possible and waved.
     The Sunday evening sun was blanketing my porch and yard in pinks, reds, oranges, and gold, and the spring breeze was lifting tufts of my bright hair to throw back into my face. I just quietly laughed it off: the wind was childish in that way.​
And no, I didn't notice Stranger danger coolly studying me, cigarette hanging between two skeleton fingers. And no, I didn't pretend not to hear him muttering to himself, wisps of smoke puffing out from his teeth every time he spat a word. Why would I? I was indifferent.
     I threw my head back into the porch swing with a groan. Okay, maybe I wasn't so indifferent. Maybe I was hell-bent on studying his every move like he did mine. But not because he was mysterious or even the least bit interesting or appealing. He wasn't the brooding Byronic hero of some cut-rate romance novel: he was creepy to the extreme. So creepy that you have to be paranoid enough​
to be alert to his every move. And maybe I just wanted to get back at him. Maybe I wanted him to notice me studying him like a creeper and ask why and I would unload the last  three years of hell upon him...without wasting any oxygen. ...Okay, so that would backfire on me. Who knows why I was doing it? My eyes betrayed me over and over and refused not to be focused on him, like some sick way of keeping me on my toes.
     All right. That's it. Day ruined. I'm going inside. Thank you, Stranger Danger. Huffing, I rose from the patio bench swing (it's like a tradition in the South to have one of those) and trudged my way inside. Of course, as soon as I got in I was almost trampled.
     ​
What? Mom was supposed to be off today.​

     My big-boned, ruddy mother was sprinting around like​
a chicken with its head cut off. She was supposed to be relaxing since Vincent had insisted he take that night himself and she get some well-earned rest. But here she was, running about, throwing her uniform together and grabbing her keys and a Tupperware of leftover scalloped potatoes.
    I managed to finally grab her and fix her with a skeptical look and raised eyebrow.​
Her hair was frizzed and sticking up all over her hurriedly fixed ponytail, a sign that she didn't have time to even dry or brush her hair. She was barely mumbling, too, which was a dead giveaway that something was horribly wrong. My mom was the extreme opposite of me, so for her not to talk, just like for me to talk, it meant something wildly important was going on.
     Finally, my staring wore her down enough for her almost-watery eyes to meet mine. "Vincent," she eventually grumbled. Then her face hardened as she snapped out the rest. "Idjit wen' ta work all by hisself today. Who'da thought da Lawd's Day woulda ended up bringin' the rowdiest buncha scum to pop'late dis earth? Dang moron jus' 'bout kicked da bucket from pure exhaustion an' doggone stress. Was too moronic to e'en call me neither! Ended up bein' a customer as let me know. Kind soul even helped 'im kick 'em out an' lock up 'til I got there. 'E brought 'im home and demanded 'e rest. I demand 'e keep restin'! Ain't no business working yo'self to da grave! I done TOLD 'im dis!" She was too angry to go on, but years of not talking gave us powers to read each other clearly, so I knew she still have more to say. And I knew it concerned me. "As a result​,
ya know I can't keep takin' ya ta school," she finally breathed out. (Yes, Mom was still driving me to school. And yes, a junior in high school should have their driver's license. And I did. But having one wasn't much use when your parents need their cars on a regular basis. So Mom dropped me off at school and picked me up when she could so that she had the car.) I knew this. It was a given. I was fully prepared to start taking the bus or walking to and from school but what Mom said next submarined all that. "But then Francis offered to take you."
     Blankness... I had never known a Francis in my life. Why then would Mom agree to them taking me to school?​
Okay, so maybe wasting oxygen just this once wouldn't hurt. After all, it was kinda important to know who I'd be stuck in a car with. But I didn't even need to waste any because Mom could already read the "Francis?" in my expression. "Francis," she repeated, like all people do when they think repetition will magically awaken a memory you probably don't even have. "Francis Gautier[Go-tee-ay]? That Frank boy next door?"
     It took only the took seconds before I registered that to decide to heck with sacred oxygen. Self-destruct in 3...2...1. "I don't even KNOW him! I can take the bus. I can walk. I can make friends solely for the purpose of carpooling. Anything better than being trapped inside a car with a CREEPER!"​
Fortunately, my voice box performed perfectly and emphasized all the correct words without croaking, leaving a nice echo as a remnant of what I'd just done.
     Undortunately, Mom's mood left her not the least bit deterred by my reaction. In fact, it backfired, if her smirk had anything to say about this, probably because she thought my talking was a good thing.
     "Toni, stop bein' so melod'matic. You've known Francis since you was a youngin'. Surely ya got ta 'member him. Either way, y'all 'll get ta know each other again. An' 'e ain't much a talker neither, so y'all should get along just fine." With that, she readjusted the things in her arms and walked out the door, leaving me sputtering more questions.
     School started back on Tuesday, so I had two days to mentally prepare myself. Two days... Scratch that; one, because the sun was already set. I had one day to mentally prepare myself for being locked up with Stranger Danger. One day. It would take an eternity to prepare myself. I needed an eternity and I had one day.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     You'll excuse my spewing of hatred and distrust and the boring route this story seems to never be able to get off of. But it's important for you to understand who Frank was and who I was and the circumstances of our "meeting" for the rest to make sense. Now I look back on those days with hatred and disgust of my mindset and a clear understanding of just why Frank put off such a palpable bubble of creepiness. Bear with me. I can't guarantee the writing gets better, but I can guarantee the introduction ends soon. Just know that it is just as crucial as the story itself.
An Urgent Need for Ruin: Chapter Three
Dun dun DUN! How'd y'all like that little surprise? Although you probably saw it coming a mile away. How about the snippet from Toni at the end? I hope it makes sense.
I feel it beneficial to tell you that most of their "meetings" are based off of real-life interactions between me and the husky Gerard Way doppelganger ​
across the street that I lovingly refer to as "Gee-across-the-street" (since we haven't really met yet) that comes out in a baggy band shirt and basketball shorts and smokes in front of his house. Poor guy has tried to acknowledge me several times but just hasn't caught on yet that I'm a hermit. No exaggeration there. I spend 99% of my time in my house hardcore writing, reading, housework-doing, and interacting with pixels.
Loading...
As soon as I saw the shy people with multicoloured hair and backpacks, I knew I was in the right place. Deviantart meet-up? YES PLEASE!
Over the river and through the woods, to Sands Expo we goooo! No kidding, though. It took FOREVER to find our way to the Venetian and to find where we were supposed to go once inside. It was quite a trying adventure.
Once FINALLY to Hall C, I wandered around a bit and tried to figure out what to do. I was pretty sure no one I knew was coming and a lot of time was reserved for meet-ups. I was also surrounded by tons of amazing artists drawing with ease while my notebooks rested comfortably in my psuedo-hippie messenger bag. After looking around a bit, I spotted a fellow deviant I suspected was in my own situation. Now, I'm not too good a socializer. In fact, the thought of talking to a stranger makes me queasy. But I swallowed my fear, strode up to her and subject led to subject until we were both walking around the convention and talking like best buds!
This day may not have gone the way I expected, but it turned out much better. Along with all the souvenirs and experience I took away from this convention, I also came away with a new friendship with an UBER-TALENTED Momoko-Kawase . Definitely making this a regular thing.
#CAVE #deviantart

deviantID

Reprogrammed's Profile Picture
Reprogrammed
N W Raven
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
about.me/N_W_Raven
Lyricist, Vocalist of Social Insomnia

I BECAME INSANE, WITH LONG INTERVALS OF HORRIBLE SANITY. --EDGAR ALAN POE

And now, for something entirely different:

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

"Death Be Not Proud"
-- by John Donne
(1572-1631)





My birthday badge
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Friends

Journal History

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

On behalf of the birthdays team, I sincerely apologize that your greeting has arrived late this year.

We hope you had an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
Reply
:iconreprogrammed:
Reprogrammed Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! And I love the emoticons. XP
Reply
:iconhitantenshi:
HitanTenshi Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday!
Reply
:iconreprogrammed:
Reprogrammed Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! Love your new icon.
Reply
:iconhitantenshi:
HitanTenshi Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
^_^ Thank you
Reply
:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
Happy birthday! :D
Reply
:iconreprogrammed:
Reprogrammed Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014
You're welcome! :3
Reply
:iconthis-person:
this-person Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the comment and the watch ^^;
Reply
:iconsocialfacilitation:
socialfacilitation Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
thanks for watching me :)
Reply
Add a Comment: